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Sgt Frog Abridged - Episode 2R (script)
The following is unedited from the original document except for formatting. Several lines were rewritten during recording and/or editing. Script Outer space, looking at the earth Narrator: Another peaceful, non-alien-ran day. Nice, isn't it? *small pause* Narrator: ...The hell is that? *Zooms into Angol Mois* Narrator: I’m going to learn not to ask questions about this show, aren’t I? Angol: *talking in her sleep* Oh uncle, I can't wait to be in the same scene as you. Oh the things I want to do with you, and to you, and on you. Narrator: That’s creepy. *Screen goes black* *Cue Title* Narrator: The Hinata household. It's not like we are going to see this shot every episode. Aki *sitting at table, being informative*: And THAT’S what a period really is. *Camera changes to Fuyuki looking stupid and Natsumi looking pissy.* Aki: I’m glad you understand. *Cuts back to Aki* Aki: Now, about giving the little frog a room… Natsumi *very against the idea*: Mom! Did you forget what happened today already? Aki: Oh, you were asking for it. Natsumi: What? Aki *tip-toeing around the question*: I love you too! Keroro: Now, Aki, I’m sure that even the pink-haired virgin is okay with me having a room. *Turns. Things go dark* Keroro *dark voice*: Isn’t that right, Ms. Fuckface? *Natsumi kicks him into wall* Natsumi *angry/defensive*: I’m… WORKING ON IT! Keroro: What? It’s not like it’s not true. Plus I can see up your ski-LGHLGHLGHLGH! *Cut to Aki turning on basement light* Aki: Here we are! Fuyuki: Wow, Mom. Where did this basement come from? Aki: *Giggle* You sound like your father when he left. Fuyuki: Huh? Keroro *Runs to door*: Oh boy! A doorknob! *Opens door. Kids are surprised and amazed* Keroro: This room is lame! I want to go back to the doorknob. Natsumi: Mom, did you put all of this here?! Aki: You know me. I like to plan ahead. Fuyuki: Does that magazine say, “homo”…? Aki: …No… it says “Nomo”. Keroro: Are you sure? ‘Cause it looks like an “H”. Aki: No, it’s an “N” on its side. Keroro: Wouldn’t that be a “Z”? Aki *defensive/pissy*: We can play this game all day! Natsumi *Thinking jealously*: I don’t believe this… She never even put electricity in my room. Keroro *pops in* I take it you’re jealous from all the stuff I got? *Pops out and back on other side of the screen* What’s that Natsumi? I’m-A-Bitch-FACE?! Narrator: Yes-She-IS. Keroro: Hey, did you also get me this ghost? *Omiyo appears. Aki and Natsumi look scared.* Omiyo: Um… Derp? *Aki and Natsumi run in place at the door.* Natsumi *panicked and looking for an excuse to leave*: Oh, look at the time! I need to go buy some handcuffs- I mean fondle Saburo! Aki: *same as Natsumi* Here, let me show you to the door! *They run out. Keroro follows, then Omiyo* Keroro *slightly panicked and quick-paced*: Wait no! Don’t leave me alone with Fuyuki! Fuyuki: Oh, this day just gets better and… Toyota? Narrator: The next day. Fuyuki: Alright, meeting of the paranormal research club comes to order. Now for roll call. *Voice fades out into background. Camera moves to Momoka staring in* Narrator: This Peeping Tina is Momoka Nishizawa, an incredibly rich girl. It seems she has fallen head-over-heels for Fuyuki, heaven help the poor bastard. Dark Momoka: I HEARD THAT! Fuyuki: Is there someone real out there? Momoka: Oh crap! I'd better hide! I know! I'll pretend that I'm a flesh statue! *Fuyuki steps out of the room* Momoka: STATUE!!! Fuyuki: Uhh, hi Momoka. Momoka thinks: Dammit! How did he see though my flawless stealth tactic? Snake: You didn't use the box! Momoka: Uh… hi Fuyuki… Fuyuki: So… what's up? Momoka: Oh ah...n-n-nothing- the ceiling, the-the sky, the clouds, th- damnit! *continues talking through Dark Momoka’s line* Dark Momoka thinks: Come on, you idiot! Spill the beans, tell him how you feel! Fart from the bag. Dark Momoka thinks: Not those beans! Momoka *While running away*: Sorry! Fuyuki: Awkward... Narrator: If we may freshen the air for a moment… Keroro: Gee, it sure is boring around-*WHACK* Man, its boring around here. I know! I should go see Fuyuki for no reason at all! MapQuest, take me away! Keroro: Alright I have a map and- Oooh Porn! Narrator: Cutting ahead… *Sky view of Hinata house* Keroro: Alright let’s go! ... Keroro: Fuck! I can't read maps! Back at school Momoka: Why? Why can't I just say I love him? *Tamama comes out of the bag.* Narrator: What is this coming out of the bag? Tamama: Haha, I guess that’s what they call it nowadays. Tamama: *ad-libbing whatever random shit* Tamama: What’s your problem? *Momoka goes dark* Momoka: GrrrrrrrrAAAAAAGH!!! *Tamama suddenly tied up* Momoka: You ruined my chance to get close to Fuyuki… *Gets angry* Now I’m gonna beat the fagmuffin out of you with these BALLS I STOLE FROM THE GYM!!! *Sudden cut to the gym* Natsumi: Who took all the balls? Random person: You don’t have any! *Cuts to Sarge crouching down and hiding* Keroro: Alright… as long as no cops see me. Fuyuki: Hey Sarge! *Keroro jumps* Keroro: GAH! I swear to god I didn’t kill the hooker! Oh, it’s just you. Fuyuki: What’re you doing at my school? Keroro: Nnn… what am I doing in YOUR school! Haha. Booyah! Wait… *Jumps down from fence. Kero Ball flies out of Fuyuki’s pocket* Fuyuki: Huh? Keroro: Hey, one of my crew members is around here! *Readies to go* Time to save it up, y’all! *Every 5th volleyball hits Momoka in the face. Momoka grunts with every throw and grunts angrily when hit* Tamama: Uh! Momoka! I think there’s a pattern here! Momoka: I DON’T CARE! *DOOF* Keroro: Wow, she has the worst aim of anyone I’ve ever seen. Fuyuki: Yeah, but she has spirit. Keroro: Word. *Jumps out* Keroro: Kero Ball, I choose you! Robotic voice: Drop the pans, bitch. Momoka: *Readying to throw the last ball and still very angry* But I’m wearing A SKIRT- *BONK* *BUDUDUDUDUDUD* Fuyuki *Pokes head out*: You should have took Snake’s advice. *Tamama looks over at Sarge* Tamama: Sarge… you came! Keroro: Only when I see you! Keroro *Sudden close-up* I’m gay. The end. Keroro: Fuyuki, I’d like to introduce you to my jelly- I mean… Tamama… Tamama: *Salutes* I’m a pretty princess! *Fuyuki pulls out Momoka from the pans* Momoka: *Dazed* Ha… you didn’t get the peanut butter… Fuyuki: Yeah. Nice to meet you, Tamama. Back home Narrator: Back at the Hinata household… Tamama: Who’s saying that, anyway? Keroro: Oh, that’s just the Gundam models. Awkward silence Tamama: Anyway, aren’t we forgetting something? Keroro: That’s right! I need to finish Final Fantasy VII! Tamama: …You’re still playing that? Keroro: Yeah, I can’t get past the title. What the hell does “press start” mean? Tamama: No, I mean the rest of our crew. Keroro: Oh yeah! Them. Once we find all three of them, we can take over the planet easily. Kururu: Hey. Bill Nye. Mythbusters. See ya. Giroro: I’m gonna put C4 in your toothpaste. Call me a pedo again; I dare you. Dororo: Hey, Sarge... guys... I'm a ninja. *Trying to be cool* Eh? Eh? Kururu and Giroro: No one cares about you, Zerodo. Dororo whining: No… guys, It’s Dororo… Kururu: Yeah, whatev- wait. When did you change it from Sven? Dororo cries more. Tamama: Where the hell am I?! *Returns to Keroro and Tamama. Keroro starts cleaning* Keroro: But right now I need to clean this place up. *Starts speaking in Spanish* ‘Jeez, look at this floor. It’s all dirty.’ *Awkward pause of Tamama’s face* Keroro: ‘Tamama my love, will you please pass the water.’ Tamama: *Pause* Quatro? *KERORU starts to play* Keroro: Agáchese. *Credits* *PS: We love gay males, too.* Tamama: Today’s episode is brought to you by cholesterol! Keroro: Oh boy! I’m going to brush my toothbrush! *Explosion* Oh no! My toothbrush. Category:Episode Scripts